Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Tests Begin...

When I decided to make this important change in my life, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but boy it doesn't take long for me to be tested! As soon as my decision was made, I felt that not much sooner, maybe a day later did I feel that everything in my way has tried to irritate me or challenge my feelings.

Lets take my daughter for instance. Mind you, I made my decision on Friday. This whole weekend my daughter has not listened to me, nor my husband. She has been relentless about having "a friend" to play with, with the whole sad face or even having guest over the house. I've been sick and I just haven't been wanting to "play". I'm the type of mommy that would rather color or rent family videos or make cookies. I don't want to play grocery store or Barbies. As a child I liked to but now I don't. Then she has been constantly whining all weekend. I can't stand the whining. I had a dog that whined, I don't need my child doing it too! I've been having to reprimand her way too much this weekend and this is abnormal for her.

Then I get a call today that just added stress between my husband and I. We discussed it, try to figure a way to handle it but it took a good half hour to get things to calm down. The stress in my chest is just suffocating.

I know God is proud of me for wanting to make changes in my life to better my ways. I knew it wasn't going to be easy either. Even when I went to church today, the sermon was on John 5:19-20. It basically spoke to me. It was as if God was speaking through my Pastor acknowledging me to let me know that I'm doing the right thing. I'm glad I went today. I needed to. I even woke up late but I got out of bed without hesitation. Sabrina even wanted to go which makes me proud of her. This is what I want for her, to know God and that He loves her.

This is just the start of many test but I will continue on and just pray that I get through this.


Linda said...

I'm sorry you had a stressful weekend my friend! I can TOTALLY relate! And you're right, you may very well have been tested this weekend, to see if you would break so early in your new found commitment. I applaud you and your control.
I know that you will secede in your mission of bettering yourself in the eyes of our Lord, you secede in everything you put your mind to!
Love your friend,