Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Analyzing Myself

So, it's been a week and a half since I wanted to make changes to my life. It's been very trying too, I must say. In this time, I have noticed a few things about myself that need some changing. I know that it won't be an overnight process, but I will continue to work on them. Here they are....

  • I curse way too much. I noticed that when I get mad is when the words start to pour out of me. I need to try and use alternative words. It's just that when I'm mad, what comes out of my mouth is how I'm feeling at the time. I will be working on eliminating this.
  • I let things get to me way too easy. I guess you can say they are little petty things. It may have something to do with the person that is saying it also. If I have issues with someone, it may bother me more than if it were someone that I don't have issues with.
  • My music I listen to. I listen to rock which some may be inappropriate. I also love smooth jazz and I've found myself listening to my smooth jazz more lately cause I know it's good music and it pleases God more when I listen to it rather than the rock.
  • I have a lack of patience. Now, I'm gonna be honest here. My mom has told me to pray for patience. With that may come some pretty trying times to teach me to have patience. I'm too nervous to ask for it cause I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the testing moments. I've actually said to myself that I would rather deal with my lack of patience if the lesson were to be too great in order to earn it. I know, I need to have faith in God to guide me. I do have faith, I just notice sometimes I get too scared with certain things. I'm still working on it.
  • I love to watch scary movies and spooky shows. I don't think God would appreciate it that I watch these sorts of things though. Also, my husband even said the other day that he thought he saw a ghost in the house. This stuff is "not of this world" but is interesting. Like I want to see something for myself but at the same time, I don't want to get caught up in all that cause it's evil and I know I need to stay away.
  • I get frustrated with my husband. He has issues with religions so he'll say things that I feel are disrespectful of my feelings but at the same time, I feel he wants to learn and know. I feel I'm being tested when he says these things, and not by him. Like he'll tell me that the lights go out and that's it when we die. I think deep down he doesn't believe that but I don't know. I told him that if I'm right and there is a God, I have nothing to loose but he does. I just need to continue to pray for him.
  • Praying is one of my weaknesses. I have a hard time remembering to pray, as I do everything else for that matter :o) I tell people that when they have problems or concerns that I will keep them in my prayers. I need to get myself a journal to write down these prayer request so that I can keep my word. I don't want to say I'll do something and then forget. I just need to learn to pray all the time. This is something I really need to work on.

The way I look at it is, this is the first step. I'm acknowledging these areas that need to be worked on. I know I can't make a change overnight. I know this will take some time. It's gonna be hard and I know that but I will have faith in God that he will guide me. :o)

I just found this scripture from another blog and i absolutely PERFECT for me right now!!

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2


Denise said...

I did not know you had this blog! I am SO impressed with this list - and you know what?? I need to make some changes myself!

Sula Lee said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. God loves you just as you are. Life is a process. It is great that you are so aware but enjoy it too!