Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Biblical Humor

Here's a little something to make you smile. I received it in my email and thought I'd share.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a
little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph
was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles
were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Middle East was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan.)

PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . 'He-brews'

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Trust in HIM!

I trust in God! I have faith and I believe in Him!

When it comes to my finances, my faith is the strongest.

When things such as the well being of my family or struggles in my marriage, I am weak.

He knows this about me.

So I pray.

Last night I was in the midst of this struggle in my marriage. Normally I would go to my room to escape it. I would turn on the tv and maybe say a pray...or two in my head. I never put my whole being in His presence. I don't always rely on Him 100% of my time in these trials. He waits patiently for me as I continue to try and control my own situation and find my own way out.

However, last night was different. I went to my room and turned on the tv. I sat there while the words and anguish were attacking my being. I just wanted to escape but I couldn't. I decided to grab and open my Bible, then I said a prayer. I asked the Lord to help me in my situation. I asked that He take this pain away that I have been living with for 18 yrs. I asked that He show me a scripture that he wants me to see. Speak to me Lord!

And He did...

Psalm 43

1 Vindicate me, my God, and plead my cause against an unfaithful nation. Rescue me from those who are deceitful and wicked.

2 You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?

3 Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

4 Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.


God speaks to us...we just need to listen.

God wants to help us.....we just need to ask.

God wants to take control....we just need to stop resisting.

Trust in HIM!